oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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