Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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