Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I just found a bag of teeth...
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Sorry my hands just texted you
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
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