I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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