Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
