so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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