i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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