Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
