There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Are my feet made of real feet?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
