Did you just see the Batmobile???
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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