yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
