you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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