Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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