Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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