OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I know her cup size but not her name....
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize