You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
