apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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