That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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