This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
