My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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