Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
