Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
