I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
