I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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