is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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