That's intense
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
