hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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