I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
