what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Randomize
