we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Randomize
