I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I was not drunk enough for that final.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
