nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
