He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
