thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i already hear my dad disowning me
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
My bed smells like the plague
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