Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
