I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
