i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
