Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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