I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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