i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I want a musical about memes.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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