That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
