you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
