OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
