marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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