And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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