all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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