I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize