I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
now i know why i became what i already was.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
