idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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