Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
