On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
