ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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